Golden collage portrait of Frida Kahlo

collage portrait of Frida Kahlo

For years I’ve been trying to decipher a strange connection that I feel to Frida Kahlo. I finally realized that my feeling couldn’t be truly rationalized just as any other lure of the heart. However, I was able to figure out that as a woman artist I’m slightly jealous of Kahlo’s famous ability to proudly display her martyrdom in her art.

I often see the world in black in white; I see people as either fighters or wimps and I believe that people themselves are the ones to choose which category they will fall into. Paraphrasing Confucious’ statement about becoming a superior man I believe that if one wants to become a fighter all one needs is to make a decision to be one. A fighter is somebody who’ll survive any situation that life throws at him and won’t complain about it. A wimp could fall apart from a slightest misfortune. I’ve tried both of these roles and realized pretty early on that I make a lousy wimp. I’ve hated being pitied and seen as somebody in the need of pity. I chose to become a fighter and I’ve brought my personal philosophies into my art.

I’ve gone through periods of awful emotional pain and mental anguish. I’ve toyed with an idea of creating a painting that would reflect my feelings as of that sad moment, but whenever I actually sat in front of my canvas I couldn’t bring myself to do it. Something inside of me told me that I wouldn’t want to be remembered as someone weak. I come from a long line of strong women and if I were to fall apart I would destroy their legacy and disappoint their souls.

Although, once in a while I wonder what it would feel like to allow myself to be a weak woman in need of care and protection and when I’m honest with myself I think that it might not be all that bad…

To see more of Natasha’s new work go to: http://artns.us/channeling-the-passed-home.html

My first post or how Audrey Hepburn almost cost me a finger…

Collage and oil portrait of Audrey Hepburn

Certain people just exude kindness.  One look at such a person is all that is needed to see his/her kind heart.  Audrey Hepburn was one of those people.  I’ve always admired her inner as well as outer beauty, so one day I decided to paint a portrait that would depict both.  When I finished and sat down in my old olive chair to look at the portrait I was thinking about Hepburn’s tough childhood and the wonderful person that she became as an adult.  Then I said to myself that if one were to be surrounded by people with faces like Ms. Hepburn one could never fear anything bad from anyone.

Fast forwarding to 10 minutes later.  I went to the basement to find a right frame for the portrait.  Came back with a perfect white frame that was just a bit too small for the painting.  I laid the painting down on a glass table to cut it down in size with a razor blade.  I was still looking in Ms. Hepburn’s kind eyes as I saw a piece of something next to where I just made a cut, which turned out to be a part of my finger.  Although I was in pain and bleeding all over what shocked me the most was that it happened while I was working on Audrey Hepburn’s portrait.  I’m used to all kinds of synchronicities and strange coincidences in my life, which I derive certain messages from once I analyze them, but THIS just didn’t make sense to me at all. Since I don’t believe in accidents the next day when the pain subsided I decided to figure out why I had my little ‘accident’.

I tried remembering what I was thinking about the day it happened.  What I remembered the most was that while I was working on Hepburn’s portrait I’ve noted to myself that there are two people in my life who have a great affect on my moods.  When they are in a bad mood or saying something negative out loud I have a tendency to ‘catch’ their negativity like somebody would catch a cold.   The second thing that stuck out in my mind from that day was the research I did on the powers of Fluorites that morning.  One of the ‘magical’ powers attributed to Fluorites was their ability to protect their owners from the negative energies coming from others.

My conclusion might sound a bit insane for some of you, but after I sorted my thoughts out I figured out that what God was trying to tell me was that I should protect myself from the negative vibes from the people around me even when I think of them as very kind and I know that they would never try to hurt me on purpose.  Sounds nutty?  Oh, well…  I’m an American artist and a woman; therefore I have every right to be as eccentric as I choose to be…